You are worthy of respect, honesty, and love, and you wont receive any of those from a narcissist, ever, no matter what type they are.

This is a person whos loud and brash, puts others down for their own amusement, needs to be the centre of attention at all times, and never mind what youre talking about: lets talk about them again.

They also crave attention and admiration, but theyll do so in ways that are more passive.

They might martyr themselves for a cause so others will praise their apparent selflessness, or play the victim in a situation in order to garner sympathy.

When and if you do need something from them, theyll say sure and reassure you that theyll take care of it, no problem, and then theyll sulk and stew in silence because they feel put out for having their time and energy wasted.

When and if you finally confront them about their behavior, theyll likely lash out and go on about how busy theyve been and how inconsiderate you were to make such unreasonable demands of their time.

An example might be a person who wants their partner to stay home with them because theyre not feeling well.

When the partner reassures them that theyll be fine for a little while without them, the narcissist may counter with something like, Well, okay.

This is something that a covert narcissist may actually accuse you of, since all they can focus on is the fact that their precious plans will be derailed, which is upsetting to them.

All they can focus on is their own ill health, their wants, their needs, and anyone who isnt doing what they want to make them feel betterhappier is a cruel, unfeeling bastard who doesnt care about them.

The narcissist may sabotage their partners or childrens friendships, intimate relationships, education, or even their careers with drastic manipulation tactics.

Theyll paint you as the horrible one who isnt showing them any empathy or compassion, give you the silent treatment, and be passive aggressively horrible until you give them what they want again.

Theyll attempt to bully the other person with what they feel is their superior intellect, talking circles around them to confuse them and make them feel small, and then mock them for not being able to keep up.

It doesnt even need to be an overt criticism thatll throw them into a furor: it might be as simple a situation as having one of their habits questioned, or implying that another course of action might be a better idea than the one they had in mind.

Basically bullying them into submission and silencing them with shame and self-doubt.

Then, once any small whisper of personal power has been quelled, the narcissist will love-bomb the questioner and apologize and talk about their personal damage and vulnerabilities to regain the sympathy and adoration they crave, and the entire cycle begins anew.

While the more outgoing narcissist will simply bulldoze their way through life with little regard for the collateral damage they create, the covert type is likely to internalize things, overthink, and carry a great deal of anxiety and stress.

They may even shun the wider world and get their narcissistic supply exclusively from a small number of people whom they keep close to them.

They will avoid coming into contact with anyone whose achievements they secretly admire, for they cannot cope with the insecurity such a meeting would stir in them.

So they surround themselves with people they see as inferior, in order to maintain the fragile grandiose vision they have of themselves.

They simply do not give two hoots about your life or your problems; theyd rather just talk about themselves.

They prefer more superficial activities which will in some way benefit them grooming, shopping, going to expensive restaurants (so they can boast about it later), and anything which might promote them in the eyes of others.

They are consumed with their problems (real or perceived), their relationships (feelings of envy, jealousy, and resentment to name but a few), and general plotting of ways to manipulate others.

If theyve been gaslighting you, you may have difficulty believing your own thoughts and emotions as real and valid.

Inverted Narcissist Traits